I don’t do Mondays.

Being a stay-at-home mom, Monday holds no special meaning for me. It differs little from its other weekly compatriots.

I know it holds some significance to a lot of other people. For many, it’s the day they go back to work or school. For most stay at home moms, the kids are out of the house, and life takes a daily break from insanity. Not so for us homeschooling moms. And the fact that I also have 2 in school means I still have to wake up early and make the 45 minute round trip drive to drop them off before coming home and starting school & housework with the older two.

No, I choose not to celebrate Monday. In fact, I choose not to even recognize it. I realize millions of people around the world do recognize Monday, as evidenced by countless calendars and tv guides. And you’re free to recognize it and celebrate it as you see fit–as long as your recognizing and celebrating doesn’t infringe on my right to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Please don’t wish me a Happy Monday. Don’t post Mondayisms on your Facebook status. And those song references–Manic Monday; Monday, Monday; Come Monday—do you have any idea how offensive it is for someone who doesn’t practice Monday to listen to your Monday songs?

Local Restaurants advertising “Monday specials?” Extremely offensive. Oh, I have no problem enjoying the specials, I just don’t want to have to acknowledge Monday to do it.

So what if the celebration of Monday dates back centuries–who cares? Besides, did you know the origins of the names of all the days of the week–including Monday—come from the planets and some Norse gods? Yep, they have pagan roots. Bet that puts a damper on things.

I don’t care that Monday will come whether I celebrate it or not, and that you simjply wish to express your hopes that the day be a pleasant one for me. In fact, I propose we rename the whole thing “First Weekday,” or maybe “Weekday One.” Then those of us who don’t embrace all the day stands for won’t feel left out of your little Monday club.

Tomorrow, I’m drafting a letter to the ACLU, asking them to consider lobbying to remove the word “Monday” from the English vernacular. I figure they’ll be all over it….

Happy Monday, Happy Chanuka, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!